this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize