oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
