i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
