oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
