I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
