If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize