update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
