remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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