Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
