clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Randomize
