After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
