I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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