she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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