I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
