We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
