Nicole vs. Life
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
