Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
