I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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