Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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