Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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