you're like a bully in the Christmas story
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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