I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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