Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
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