As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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