i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
