Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
