I only kidnapped one of them. chill
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We are two peas in an std pod
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
