Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
