what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
