she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
