toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
