I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked him into tasing himself.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize