we have pet lesbian snakes
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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