Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just invented taco cereal.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
