You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
