So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize