Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
