ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
that may or may not have been my penis.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
