We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
