Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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