Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
