I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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