I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
