I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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