defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
