I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
