goodnight i made you a song goodbye
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize