I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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