Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
