we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
third nipple confirmed
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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