i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize