I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
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