wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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