I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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