So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
