These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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