You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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