so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
