everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize