I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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