She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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