Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
