We should be called the Road Head Warriors
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
God I need to hump something, right now.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
