Do you still have your period?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
