I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
