ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
