I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
