Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize